by David Bakke on July 16, 2010
If you are about to get married, there are probably about a million thing on your mind. Plans for the ceremony, how you’ll pay for the ceremony, all the little details, and everything else.
But, and I cannot emphasize this enough, if you are about to get married or are even considering getting married, I would not underestimate the importance of having “the money talk”.
What is “The Money Talk?”
To me, the money talk is a pretty comprehensive discussion about how you and your future spouse will handle the money that comes in and goes out of your life. If you come from two different “schools” on this topic, it can be a difficult discussion to have. For someone that’s more of a “spender” they may try to deflect having the conversation at all. This could be a huge mistake.
In a very simplistic sense, I think that in life, there are “spenders” and “savers”. If you and your future spouse are both of the same school then this conversation should be a pretty easy one to have because more than likely, your thoughts will be the same and you’ll only have a little ironing out of details to do.
If you’re not of the same school, it can be a difficult conversation to have, but to me, that makes it all the more important.
Without trying to scare anyone, I can tell you this from very personal experience. Money can destroy a marriage. It is not something to be discounted or dismissed. If you want have a long and successful marriage, then have the “money talk” well before you decide to tie the knot.
What To Discuss
While this list is certainly not comprehensive, here are most certainly some of the things I would get straightened out before marrying.
- If you have credit card debt, what are your thoughts on it? Is it something you view as a part of life, or is it somewhere in the future to get it paid off? If one has it and one doesn’t, will it be paid off jointly?
- How do you feel about purchases that you can’t afford? Do you go into debt to get them or do you wait until you can pay for them?
- How will your finances be set up? Will everything become joint, or remain separate?
- How does each spouses’ salary come into play? If one makes more than the other, does that change the makeup of the financial relationship? Meaning, will that person have more say in financial decisions, or not?
- Do both parties have a good understanding of what good credit means, and how important maintaining a good credit score is?
And the list goes on.
On a personal note, I generated this list from my own mind. It was a list of all the questions that I wish I had asked my wife before getting married.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—money can destroy a marriage. Especially, when there’s not a lot of it.
Have the talk, no matter how difficult it may seem. At some point in time, you’ll be glad you did.
by David Bakke on June 29, 2010
In this world that we live in today that is dominated by technology and the concept of “keeping up with the Joneses” we are constantly bombarded with the apparent need for upgrades and accessories. Advertisers everywhere are always telling us that it’s time for a new computer, a bigger flat screen TV, and the need to “accessorize” our personal appearance. For those of us trying to live frugally or trying to get out of debt, this can be a very slippery slope.
The first thing you need to understand (when trying to live frugally or get out of debt) is that you march to the beat of your own drummer. What am trying to say is that you and you alone should determine when you upgrade one of your technology products, or which personal accessories you really need in life.
What I found during my journey out of debt is that these are two areas that can really make or break you financially. If you follow the lead of the world of advertising, you would constantly be upgrading your cell phone, your personal computer or any of the other personal accessories that you choose to have.
One thing that sped up the pace of my journey out of debt is eliminating (or at least postponing) these upgrades and simply eliminating a lot of the personal accessories that I chose to have.
A lot of this is a matter of personal choice, but if you can eliminate a lot of these things, you’ll find that you’ll have that much more money to put towards the goal that should be more important to you: getting out of debt.
In the area of personal accessories, let me tell you what my current choices (or non-choices) are:
- I do not wear a watch
- I do not wear any jewelry whatsoever
- My clothes wardrobe is “bare-bones” minimum (I rarely buy new clothes)
The only thing that I can tell you here is that if you choose to use (or wear) any of the above accessories, I would stick with what you have until you are where you want to be financially. Unless of course it is a gift to yourself of some sort for reaching one of your financial goals.
Technologically speaking, I have these facts to offer you:
- The laptop we have was purchased two years ago.
- The PC we have was purchased three years ago.
- The flat screen TV we have purchased four years ago
- We do not have any of the following: IPods, blue tooths, Blackberries, etc.
When deciding to buy one of these items for the first time, the biggest question you need to answer for your self is this:
Do you really need this item?
When considering an upgrade, these are my thoughts. Whenever we buy a technology product for the first time, we usually go with about the latest, most advanced model that we can find at the time, at the very best price we can find, and we stick with it till it is no longer useful for us. Do not succumb to all the advertising out there that will tell you that you need a new laptop or flat screen every year or so. It simply isn’t true.
One of the biggest steps out of debt for me personally was to eliminate all unnecessary spending. Well, considering the hole that I was in, it didn’t take long to figure out that all accessories and upgrades, to me, were unnecessary. This didn’t mean that I had to give them up altogether, just until I was out of debt.
A hard review of your purchasing choices, I would imagine, would bear out close to the same conclusion.
As always, you feedback is appreciated below.
by David Bakke on June 15, 2010
Before we begin, I just want to let you know that this is one of those posts that is just as much about asking for information as it is providing information. I guess what I am trying to say is—I need your help.
I got into this whole frugal living thing a few years back. I have gotten more and more into it of late, and recently, it seemed to me that I am really saving everywhere that I can possibly save.
Actually, I thought I had gotten to that point several months back. Back then, I really began to think to myself—is it possible to get to the point that you are saving everything there is to save? Can you get to the point to where there is no area left in your life in which you can impact in some financial sense?
Well, whenever I get to the point of seriously pondering this question, there always seems to come along some idea or some technique of saving that I have not yet incorporated into my life. And when I say this, I am not speaking about getting to the point of actually being “cheap” or to the point of where I am sacrificing any kind of quality in my life in order to save a few pennies. I am referring to genuine ways of saving that I had not yet put into place in my life.
So, as I said, this post is as much about asking for information as it is providing information. What I would like to know is…have you got to the point to where you think you have saved all you can save? And if not, what are some of the ways that have come a long recently that you have put into place in your life? What are some of the ways you are saving that are really creative, or really intuitive?
Recently, I got into the realm of making my own household cleaners. I had always resisted because I did not believe you could actually save money by doing it, and I also thought it would be too time consuming. I was wrong on both ends. You can save money by doing it and it really doesn’t take that much time.
I also recently figured out a way to cut down my weekly trip to my national grocer to once every two weeks. This does not so much save me money as it does save me about 45 minutes out of each week. This might not seem like much but it is huge to me, because the way my life is now, any kind of time that I can “create” in order to work more on my side businesses, the more income I generate. So this idea was huge. It really just involved stocking up on the things that I buy from that grocer.
Also, I recently cancelled text messaging from my cell phone. You may or may not believe this, but I have never sent a text message in my life. I don’t even know how to do it. Regardless, this did not stop my cell phone company from charging me fifteen cents each I received a text message. It was costing me $3-$4 per month. By cancelling, I saved myself almost fifty bucks a year.
So, there you have it. A few of the most recent new ways that I have found to save in my life. I am anxious to see what kind of responses I get from my readers and visitors. I would love to find a new “gem” out there that I can throw into my life.
Obviously, your comments and feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated below.
by David Bakke on June 1, 2010
Where financial advice is concerned, tips from the pros definitely help, but experience is key. What better place to find suggestions on managing your money and personal finance than an online forum? Forums have the benefit of a wide variety of contributors, from your average neighbor to budget guru, who offer advice, personal stories, and money saving tips. Often bustling with activity, forums are a great starting point to get input on whatever financial questions arise. Here are 10 of the top online forums to discuss saving money.
- Saving Advice: Streamlined and simple, Saving Advice sticks to the basics but provides a wealth of information. General discussions, personal finance, debt, and tips on frugal living make this a great building block for getting money saving tips online.
- Money Saving Expert: An open forum with a huge variety of topics, Money Saving Expert’s forums are geared towards a UK audience with money saving in mind. Topics like annuities, mortgages, and credit cards exist alongside more holistic topics like home, upping your income, and philanthropic endeavors.
- Wise Bread: The aptly named Wise Bread dedicates itself to “living large on a small budget”. There’s a bloggers corner, tips on “lifehacks” (personal development), as well as personal finance and budgeting tips. For a broader spectrum of money saving tips, the Wise Bread blog offers a daily assortment of articles and advice sure to stir up conversation in the forums.
- Get Rich Slowly: A staple of the blogosphere, Get Rich Slowly offers sensible, common sense advice to personal finance. The hugely active forum is a great place to connect with fellow novice financiers on budgeting, debt management, and offers a place to post your success stories when you’re fiscally fit.
- PF Talk: PF Talk (Personal Finance Talk) is exactly what the name suggests – an active forum devoting to discussing the nuts and bolts of personal finance. Have a question on your mortgage, taxes, or how to manage your credit cards? Advice and solutions are all here, as well as money saving tips on financial management software and retirement planning.
- Kiplinger Forums: A respected and solid name in the financial industry, Kiplinger’s online forums attract a variety of participants from the 20-something beginner to seasoned financial planning veterans. The topics are extensive, and solicit feedback on Kiplinger’s articles as well as more estate planning focused topics, like charitable gifting and saving for future generations.
- Slick Deals: Technically a place to post tips on sales and coupons, the Slick Deals forums have evolved into a constantly updated source for money saving tips, discounts, and a one-stop-shop for stretching your dollar.
- Early Retirement: For those focused on building a solid financial future and retiring early, Early Retirement’s forums have in-depth questions and answers. Geared towards a younger crowd seeking financial independence, the money saving tips here are valuable regardless of age.
- MSN Money: The widely read financial blog on MSN money has spawned a forum, one which covers topics wide in scope but poignant on advice. Forum participants post common problems, possible solutions, and cover every topic imaginable.
- Money Talk: Established in 2004 and still going strong, the dedicated community at Money Talk’s online forums provide money saving tips, topics driven by readers, and even has a section to recommend the best personal finance books.
This post was contributed by the team at Broadband Compare, an Australian website where you can find impartial buying advice on a range of fast broadband plans.
